


Insomnia

by BlackSkyandRoses



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Comfort, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Insomnia, It all ends on a fluff note because these two deserve to be happy damnit, Mild Hurt/Comfort, OTP Feels, Post-Horizon (Mass Effect), Somewhere during ME3
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-26
Updated: 2015-09-26
Packaged: 2018-04-23 10:30:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,588
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4873414
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlackSkyandRoses/pseuds/BlackSkyandRoses
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Shepard is up late with a migraine. Kaidan can't sleep anyway. </p>
<p>Mild hurt, lots of comfort, some random feels all over the place.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Insomnia

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to Sandonthebreeze for the beta read, for her excellent suggestions, and for being my willing victim in my game of "I HAVE MORE FEELS ABOUT KAIDAN AND FEMSHEP"

Shepard shuffled into the mess area of the ship, scowling. It was late, and she couldn’t sleep. Again. The kitchen was deserted, and for that she was thankful. As if the stress of the war wasn’t enough, she was apparently developing a migraine. She never really got them before being rebuilt, but since Cerberus had brought her back, she found that they developed in times of high stress. When she stopped to think about it,this had pretty much been her constant state of being since she’d come back.

Shepard wandered over to the fridge, hoping there were enough leftovers for her to avoid some ration bars. They had made a stop at the citadel a few days ago, which meant everyone on board loaded up on their favourite foods to bring back onto the Normandy with them. She opened the door and rummaged through the various dishes and containers until she found a pasta dish with her name on it. She’d been too busy with her obligations to pick up some food for herself, so her friends had taken some pity on her and procured some of her favourites for her while she argued with the council. Shepard glanced at the writing, judged it to be Tali’s, and made a mental note to thank her later. She popped it into the microwave and hopped up on the counter, waiting impatiently.

* * *

 

Kaidan couldn’t sleep. It wasn’t fair. Normally, it would be a migraine that prevented him from sleeping but tonight he felt fine. Physically fine, anyway. He tried meditating, counting sheep, working on his spectre requisition forms...nothing. He just couldn’t shut his mind off, even though he felt exhausted. Eventually he sighed and gave up, rolling out of bed. He pulled on his pants and his alliance hoodie and wandered out of his quarters. As he exited the door, he heard the familiar sound of the microwave beeping from the mess area. Someone else must be stuck awake as well. With nothing better to do, Kaidan padded down the hallway to investigate.

Shepard was sitting on the counter with her feet dangling over the edge, attacking a takeout container with ferocity. Kaidan smiled as a wave of affection flooded him. Everything about the scene in front of him was so perfectly… Shepard. She was wearing the closest thing that ever came to civilian clothes with her - spandex shorts, a tank top and her N7 hoodie. She ignored the chairs grouped around the table and preferred to sit directly on the kitchen counter, eating directly from the container instead of dirtying a plate. Things were healing between them, so he felt secure enough to cross over and slip an arm around her waist.

“Hey. Couldn’t sleep?”  

Shepard glanced up from the mostly-empty takeout container and shook her head. She wasn’t particularly surprised that Kaidan was also up.

“No. Bad dreams again, and then I woke up with a headache.”

Kaidan frowned and looked up at her.

“You have an L5 implant now. Why are you getting headaches?”

Shepard shrugged and speared a meatball with her fork.

“I get them sometimes, since Cerberus brought me back. I guess their technology isn’t perfect after all.”

Kaidan looked worried.

“Are they bad?” he asked, running his fingertips along her thigh lightly.

“Not as bad as yours. Not often, anyway. Stress makes it worse, but my scars will crack open again before the really bad headaches start.”

Shepard considered for a moment and offered the meatball to Kaidan, who leaned forward and ate it without hesitation.

“Mmm. Not too bad, actually. But Shep - how are you feeling? Really.” He glanced quickly at the scars on the right side of her face and neck. They were worse than when she was on earth, and glowing faintly red.

Shepard saw where he was looking and smiled.

“They’ve been worse, don’t worry. Consider it a useful visual for my stress levels.”

Kaidan reached up and touched one gently, trailing his fingers down her cheek.

“Does it hurt?”

Shepard turned her head and kissed the pads of his fingers before answering.

“No, not really. Chakwas is after me to get rid of them, but..”  she shrugged one shoulder “I feel like there’s more important things to worry about right now.”

Kaidan smiled and tugged her down for a kiss.

“You’re very important, Celeste.” he whispered when he pulled away again.

Shepard’s heart rate spiked and her nerves fluttered when Kaidan used her first name. Nobody ever called her by her first name. It was always Shepard, or Commander. The last time anyone had used her real name was the last time she and Kaidan had slept together before the Normandy was attacked.

“Kaidan…” she whispered, trying to swallow the lump in her throat. She abandoned the take out container and  leaned forward to kiss him again, deeper this time. It was just like she remembered. It was better than she remembered. Kaidan took his time and kissed her thoroughly. He didn’t rush, and he didn’t try to impress her. He simply kissed her with single minded determinedness. He pulled her closer, and she wrapped her legs around his waist. She was about to get lost in what they were doing when pain spiked through her head again, and she drew back with a hiss.

Immediately, Kaidan was concerned.

“Shepard? Is it your head?” he cupped her face gently, running a thumb over her cheek.

“I… yeah. Sorry Kaidan. I didn’t mean to lead you on.”

“Hey, no. It’s okay. If anyone understands, it’s me.” Kaidan slipped his arms underneath Shepard and picked her up.

“Come on. I know just the thing.” He crossed over to the elevator and jabbed and the button quickly, without putting Shepard down.

“Just what are you up to, Alenko?” Shepard squirmed a little bit in Kaidan’s grip, but he didn’t put her down. Instead, he leaned against the wall as the elevator made its slow ascent to the captain’s cabin and peppered light kisses over Shepard’s chest.

“Just consider it payback for all the times you helped me with a migraine, okay?” Kaidan held Shepard close and just enjoyed the feeling of her weight and her warmth in his arms.

Shepard gave up wondering what he had in mind and instead decided to focus on enjoying being so close to him. Everything they'd gone through had left them on unsolid ground. They were both scared and uncertain; neither one wanting to be hurt or to hurt the other. Any false move could completely unravel the unspoken bond they'd rekindled.

The elevator doors slid open, and Kaidan carried Shepard into her cabin. He dimmed the lights as they entered, leaving the cabin light enough for him to see where he was going, but not bright enough to bother Shepard’s eyes.

Crossing over to the bed, he deposited her lightly on top of the covers.

“Come on. You should know the drill by now, Shepard.” he said, prodding her to roll over.

Shepard managed a weak chucked and obliged, too exhausted to argue with him.

“Well yeah, but usually you’re the one with a headache.”

“Which makes me the resident expert in how shitty a biotics induced migraine is, so shut up and let me help you.”

Shepard grinned into her pillow.

“You _have_ changed, Alenko. You always talk to your CO like that now?”

Kaidan smirked and swung a leg over Shepard, straddling her back.

“Just the ones I outrank, Shepard.” he started to run his thumbs up the back of her neck,  working carefully around her amp. Underneath him, Shepard sighed and closed her eyes. Kaidan worked slowly, increasing the pressure incrementally. Back on the original Normandy, Shepard had done this several times for him when he had a migraine. They quickly discovered it also helped when he stayed the night in Shepard’s cabin, compared to sleeping in the original sleeper pods. He wondered idly if perhaps staying the night would help - strictly for comfort, he told himself sternly.

As he worked, he could feel Shepard relaxing more and more underneath his hands. As much as things had changed, as much as she’d come back from Cerberus a little bit different, she still felt the same in his hands. The spot at the juncture of her neck and her shoulder was still sensitive, and her skin was still soft, lightly scented from her favourite lotion. (The one she refused to admit to anyone but him that she actually used.)

After thirty minutes or so, Shepard began to doze. He leaned down and kissed the spot behind her ear gently.

“I still love you, Celeste. Always.” he whispered. As he shifted away and went to get off the bed, Shepard’s hand shot out and closed around his wrist.

“Don’t go, Kaidan.” she murmured, without opening her eyes.

Kaidan smiled down at her, relieved.

“Alright Shepard. I’m here.” He unzipped his hoodie and dropped it unceremoniously onto the floor before padding over to the other side of the bed and sliding under the covers. He tossed them over Shepard as well, and draped one arm over her waist. She responded by rolling over and pillowing her head on his chest, wrapping herself around him.

Kaidan closed his eyes, finally starting to feel like he was capable of drifting off to sleep. After a few minutes, when he was on the very edge of drifting off, he felt Shepard place a kiss on his chest and whisper softly.

“I still love you too, Kaidan.”

 

 


End file.
